Pushing Free-Giveaways

FREE from tomorrow

FREE from tomorrow

To celebrate all this talk of time travel and JFK, from tomorrow (Feb 17) until Sat (Feb 21) Pushing Ice Cream In Dallas will be available for free through Amazon!

Pushing Ice Cream In Dallas concerns itself with a waitress, Deborah Banks, who against the backdrop of the most famous assassination in history becomes embroiled in a tussle between good and evil… or at least a tussle between perverts and even worse perverts.

Things are looking up for young Dallasite Deborah Banks; a devoted boyfriend, besotted admirer, and her political hero is coming to town.

The only problem is that her boyfriend is nuts, her admirer is a pervert named Friedrich Nietzsche and President Kennedy is about to be assassinated by Lee Harvey Oswald.

Most tales of time-travel focus upon the gunman inside the Texas School Book Depository. Not many address the mysterious ice cream truck, giant wooden horse, nor the gaggle of dirty old men within it. But they were there. And Deborah Banks is about to find out why.

Dallas, 22/11/1963; there ain’t no better place to hawk your wares.

Recommended only for adults.

UK http://www.amazon.co.uk/Pushing-Ice-Cream-Dallas-Grant-ebook/dp/B016X8B0WO/

US http://www.amazon.com/Pushing-Ice-Cream-Dallas-Grant-ebook/dp/B016X8B0WO/

meh – New Hardback Release

Dallas 22/11/63. President Kennedy’s motorcade approaches the Texas School Book Depository. Deborah Banks might be able to save him and thus change the course of history… that is if the monster inside the Ice Cream Truck doesn’t get to her first…

Bringing together all the previously released ebook stories into one hardback edition with additional original content.

A dozen short stories from the author of The Mariner. Science fiction, horror, satire and smut… with more than a little meh.

meh web imageCONTENTS

PUSHING ICE CREAM IN DALLAS
FROTHBOT
SONS OF YORK
MOLLY’S GRAVE
SICK PRICK
SEEKER
THREE GHOSTS
THE ABORTIONIST
SAUSAGES
THE SECRET JUNCTION
THE COUCH
MEH*

*Previously unreleased.

It’s 22.11.63 not 11.22.63! New Time Travel Novella

Hello all!

It’s been a while, I confess. I have been rather distracted. But I’m back now and to celebrate here’s the blurb for the new novella.

This one’s a comedy / sci-fi / satire with cover art by the magnificent photographer Fergus Ford. I hope you like it:

Pushing Ice Cream In Dallas MedPUSHING ICE CREAM IN DALLAS

Things are looking up for young Dallasite Deborah Banks; a devoted boyfriend, besotted admirer, and her political hero is coming to town.

The only problem is that her boyfriend is nuts, her admirer is a pervert named Friedrich Nietzsche and President Kennedy is about to be assassinated by Lee Harvey Oswald.

Most tales of time-travel focus upon the gunman inside the Texas School Book Depository. Not many address the mysterious ice cream truck, giant wooden horse, nor the gaggle of dirty old men within it. But they were there. And Deborah Banks is about to find out why.

Dallas, 22/11/1963; there ain’t no better place to hawk your wares.

If anyone wants a review copy get in touch, otherwise cough up the two quid you stingy buggers.

Sons of York – Permanently Free… Sort Of

Sons of York, the duo short story collection, is now available across a range of stores, and free on all of them. Except Amazon. There you’d still need to pay a pitiful dollar or so. So good readers the choice is yours. Grab it for free or stick with Amazon and give me a buck. I’ll let you decide.

Below are some of the locations where you can get hold of the free ebook:

Nook: http://www.nook.com/gb/ebooks/sons-of-york-by-ade-grant/2940152055733
iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/gb/book/sons-of-york/id1023082188
Kobo: https://store.kobobooks.com/en-US/ebook/sons-of-york
Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/563034

Many thanks to “MB” for providing the first review on Smashwords:

5/5 “Very interesting quick read.
Sons of York is a gritty historical novel.
Frothbot reminded me a bit of Robert Sheckley stories – interesting, quick and with something to think about in it.”

Sons of York Free Giveaway

From 26/04 through until the end of the month, Sons of York will be available to download for free through Amazon. Go on, go help yourself to a freebie!

Sons of York

Collection of two short stories:

FROTHBOT (Science-Fiction / Politics)

For eight years the government has remained paralysed, unable to cope with spiralling inflation and disintegrating public services. With society on the brink of collapse, a journalist gets the opportunity to interrogate a politician at the centre of it all. He works for the PaPA Department, the mysterious system locked off from public scrutiny, and is the one person she hopes can reveal the truth.

SONS OF YORK (Historical-Fiction / Horror)

13 June 1483. Richard Duke of Gloucester plots within the Tower of London. Will he seize the crown from his nephew, a boy under lock and key? Or will he crown the child and sacrifice his own claim forever? His closest ally is on the edge of betrayal, his court is filled with deceit, and every choice seems riddled with blood.

Free at Amazon.co.uk

Free at Amazon.com

Sick Prick

Well folks, it got through! Yes, my new duo of short stories managed to make it onto amazon despite the oh-so-slightly-offensive title and blurb. Hazzah! So, without further ado…

I am thrilled to announce “Sick Prick” will be available from the 28th of Feb. Once again the artwork is by the exceptionally talented Tom Charles who has also proven an effective bulwark against the dreaded typos. Without him these two releases wouldn’t have been possible.

MOLLY’S GRAVE (Psychological Horror)

Aunt Molly meant everything to him, but now Aunt Molly is gone. And if he doesn’t unearth her in time, he’ll be forced to watch her return.

SICK PRICK (Splatterpunk Horror)

In retrospect, I shouldn’t have fucked Karen. The lesser of two reasons why this was such a dreadful idea was the fact that Karen didn’t want me to. As I stood behind her, pumping away, I could just about imagine her appreciative groans, and I suppose in a way she was groaning, though not on my behalf. No, as I delivered my jack-rabbit thrusts, Karen bucked and thrashed, and if it were not for the restraints I think she might have killed me. No kisses for poor old Morris, no tender whispers of erotic seduction. Just the snapping of teeth, the twitching of limbs, and the slop falling from between her legs.

Which brings me onto the second and more pressing reason why shagging this beauty was, on reflection, such a colossal no-no. Karen, you see, was dead.

Available to pre-order now.

UK http://www.amazon.co.uk/Sick-Prick-Ade-Grant-ebook/dp/B00TOW6R3Y/

US http://www.amazon.com/Sick-Prick-Ade-Grant-ebook/dp/B00TOW6R3Y/

Sons of York

Sons of York

Available for Pre-Order Now!

Sons of York is now available to pre-order through Amazon and will zip down into your device on Saturday 31st. And only for 99p. Blimey!

Amazon.co.uk

Amazon.com

Collection of two short stories with artwork by Tom Charles.

FROTHBOT (Science-Fiction / Politics)

For eight years the government has remained paralysed, unable to cope with spiralling inflation and disintegrating public services. With society on the brink of collapse, a journalist gets the opportunity to interrogate a politician at the centre of it all. He works for the PaPA Department, the mysterious system locked off from public scrutiny, and is the one person she hopes can reveal the truth.

SONS OF YORK (Historical-Fiction / Horror)

13 June 1483. Richard Duke of Gloucester plots within the Tower of London. Will he seize the crown from his nephew, a boy under lock and key? Or will he crown the child and sacrifice his own claim forever? His closest ally is on the edge of betrayal, his court is filled with deceit, and every choice seems riddled with blood.

Short Story Cover Reveal

I am very happy to announce that the first of my new series of short stories for 2015 will be available to download soon. “When?” you may well ask. “Soon” is my lame response. I can’t really be more specific than that. Early Feb. Honest.

What I can tell you is that each short story will be packaged up with a second shorter bonus story, and this release will be followed up with a second duo in the not too distant future. So, without further ado, the cover reveal:

Sons of York

Sons of York, Coming soon…

Artwork is by the rather talented Tom Charles, the bright mind behind Sketchy Reviews. As some may have deduced from the title, Sons of York is a piece of Historical Fiction (or to be more precise Historical-Horror), concerned with events in the grim year of 1483 of Richard, Duke of Gloucester. The bonus story goes in the opposite direction. Political science-fiction. Just the genre that gets the folk out there excited.

A proper blurb will be available soon, so for now I shall let your imagination run wild so to ensure that the final product fails to deliver.

Enchanted

I deal in curses. Well, curses and magic. I suppose they’re the same thing, just viewed slightly differently. “What often appears a curse, often will turn into a blessing, and likewise blessings into curse.” That’s what my Master taught me, and his Master before him. The trick is to always make a good deed seem bad, then the true “magic” is the lessons learned. Harsh love. Means to an end. Not following? Let me tell you a story of my Master: the Enchanter Randell Rouge.

So, there was this Princess, right? And she was the most spoilt little brat you’d ever meet. Talk about shallow! This girl wouldn’t even look at you until someone vouched that you wouldn’t make her puke. Regularly, she’d have her friends exiled if they broke out in a spot or blemish, that’s how harsh her beauty regime was! I know what you’re thinking, ‘what a cow’, yeah?

Well, this is when my late Master, really came into his own. He got a prince, bloody handsome devil, women falling at his feet as if he had dragon breath, and – here’s the clever part – turned him into a frog.

Not completely into a frog obviously, that’d just be mean. He could still think and talk and stuff, it’s just, you know, he wasn’t exactly an ideal date. But now that he was in his new slimy form, my Master got him to hang about in the spoilt princesses pond, keeping schtum.

I don’t know how he managed to time it so well, but right away the girl dropped a golden ball into the pond, the two got talking despite his grubby body, hit it off, and boom! Love, kisses, frog turned back into man, surprise surprise he’s not hideous at all, actually a bit of a hunk. Ta da! Lessons learned.

Feeling envious of my job? Travelling the lands teaching people the errors of their ways, bettering lives through clear moral journeys? All good yeah?

Well, hmm, not quite.

Once the old glowing crystals and flowing robes were passed on to yours-truly, I decided to do an easy one. It was my first enchantment without Master Rouge and I didn’t want to over-stretch myself.

So I found this girl, a poor little thing who was forced to work for her sisters in the most awful squalor. Each day she would labour at home, whilst the sisters gallivanted about all over town. When I found them, they were looking forward a swanky ball being held at the local Prince’s castle. Him being a bachelor and all, the sisters were hoping to snag a rich one.

Eye-eye, I thought, looks like I could work a little match-making magic here!

With a little bit of dazzle and wonder I made the girl a deal. For one night, and one night only, she could attend the ball, dressed in the most wonderful wealth and splendour you could imagine. We’re talking serious cash here. Diamond encrusted tiara, silk dress, coach drawn by great white horses, glass slippers – the lot! All illusions of course, I just made a few rubbishy odds and ends look that way, but that’s all part of the moral trick isn’t it? It’s about crossing the wealth divide, deceiving nobility for social mobility! The problem for her was that these glamorous items would turn back into rags and a mouldy old pumpkin the moment the clock struck twelve. Alarming in the short-term, but ultimately the Prince would love her for herself, and all would be hunky-dory.

Or it should have been. Unfortunately there were lots of people at that party who recognised this girl the moment she arrived and were more than slightly surprised to see her covered head to toe in jewels whilst sporting a hair cut worth a small kingdom. She didn’t have time to scoff a single vol-au-vent, the poor thing was set upon by representatives of the Prince’s treasury, keen to know where this secret wealth had come from.

She’s still in prison to this day. Tax-evasion.

So my first attempt went wrong. But who has ever been perfect their first day on the job? I told myself not to worry, just scale back and start again.

I decided not to overburden myself, but instead try to improve the lot of someone already cursed. Luckily I’d heard of a perfect case: there was a princess who’d been cursed to prick her finger and die by her eighteenth birthday. Perhaps I can do some good here, I thought, so I did a little tinkering and managed to change it. Now she would sleep, only to be awoken by true love’s kiss. How romantic.

Well, as expected on her birthday, the girl pricked her finger and dozed off, taking the whole kingdom with her. I was especially pleased with that bit (I figured she could be sleeping for quite some time and I didn’t want everyone to get old and scare the shit out of her when she woke up). I had saved her life, now to find her a fella.

I found a great lad, a prince from quiet, respectable stock. Someone a little bit withdrawn and socially inept whom I could trust to fall in love with a girl he’d never seen conscious before.

I got rumour to his ear that a great treasure could be found in the enchanted kingdom of blah blah blah, you get the picture. I lured him out there. I couldn’t very well say, hey, go here and check out this hot chick, could I? We enchanters are subtle.

So he sets out, and I sneak along behind. All is going swimmingly, he finds the sleeping kingdom, he finds the castle, he enters the tower in which he’ll find the sleeping ravishing maiden. And then…

Nothing. No one woke up. Hang on a moment, I thought, the curse is supposed to be lifted isn’t it? True loves kiss, bond overcoming magic etc etc…

But no, the fucker didn’t kiss her. He did other things, things I never thought that quiet lad capable of, but I don’t think you could ever claim they were expressions of ‘true love’.

So, bad judge of character there. Whoops.

I promised myself one last try. This time I would directly ape the whole, ‘encase beauty in ugliness’ thing my Master had done so well at the height of his career. Taking his lead, I could surely do no wrong.

There was this Prince who was vain. Not quite as vain as the frog-lover, but still, pretty ego-centred. I didn’t want to pick someone too far down the ass-hole road, otherwise they might not get the lesson I was trying to teach and we’d have another disaster on our hands. No, just a bit of a preening git would be fine.

So I go to him and ask him, how about you marry Beatrice? In his defence I had chosen a particularly ugly and unfortunate specimen from the local village, but his extreme reaction to my suggestion, I think, justifies my actions.

I turned him into a hideous beast. “You are monster,” I told him. “Everyone who looks upon you will be horrified, everyone near you will recoil. You will make people vomit their breakfast, and weaken their bowels. And you shall remain so for the rest of your life, unless-” And at this I made a great show of hinting at the ongoing moral theme. “Unless you can find someone to love you, someone willing to look inside and ignore your hideous shell, and love the man beneath… Except Beatrice, cos, well, now you’re on an level playing field and that doesn’t work very well in the narrative I’m trying to create. This other girl will have to be a bit better looking than that. At least a seven I’d say. Six or seven… But anyway, can true love really blossom between a beauty and a beast?”

He shot himself.

Doctor Tetrazzini and His Life Affirming Theory

The second collection of short stories by Ade Grant, due to be released this autumn, will contain:

Doctor Tetrazzini and His Life Affirming Theory
Being the second part of the Mariner odyssey. After finding the small island of Sighisoara the Mariner is offered a chance of redemption. Will he be able to put the past behind him? Or are his demons too insidious to be locked away?

A Jolly Wicked Party
The famous pub, “The Frog’s Paw”, is now under the control of Mad Frank who is determined to celebrate. But will an uninvited guest ruin the events?

The Revelations Of Knocking On Heavens Door
Angels exist. And one has been sent to save the life of Joseph Mulberry. The problem is, he’s not pleased.

And more….

Artwork by Christopher Hayes

Artwork by Christopher Hayes


The follow up book to Rotten Philosophy promises to delve deeper and darker into the human psyche. More information to be released soon….